Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Yes - I'm An Idiot! Just Check Out My Forehead Tattoo! Will Gold 90FM Sponsor Me?

I ask you, dear readers - what on this earth motivates someone to get ink permanently etched in to their forehead? For the life of me, it's one of those strange phenomena that I just can't seem to comprehend.

Thinking more seriously about it, I contemplated what I might look like with a forehead tattoo. Even more thought provoking, is what wise words would I decide upon. The following is the result of my deep reflection on the subject:

OK, so maybe you don't want to ever get a real job again... or maybe you want the world to see you and identify you as the criminal that you probably are... but I just wonder how you feel each morning you wake up and look in the mirror - is there any regret? Have you ever wondered to yourself, "Yes, I'm an Idiot!" or "Gee - that was pretty stupid of me!"?

Well, the old forehead tattoo seems to be getting quite popular with inmates of various prisons around the USA.

The latest addition to this very scholarly group of creative geniuses, is one 33-year old woman from Ohio... at least Jamie Calloway, who has been arrested for "misdemeanor menacing by stalking" seems to have a religious message for her fellow prisoners (she allegedly slashed her victim's tyres, constantly called the victim's phone and sent her packages in the mail - her victim is a corrections officer that Calloway took a liking to during a previous stint in the lock-up).

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you, the angelic Jamie Calloway:

Joining Ms Calloway in the "Idiot Forehead Tattoos" Hall of Fame are the following very friendly looking folks...

First up, is 21-year old Californian, Patrick Brooks - in jail for burglary, forgery and receiving stolen property (oh, and parole violation) - really nice guy right? I'm sure they will love his attitude tattoo inside (I've censored here to protest the innocent) :)

Next up... like father like son - I bet he grew up saying "I wanna be just like my Dad one day!!" Well, you achieved your goal, young fella!

This one's kind of surprising, because I don't reckon he looks much like the criminal type. In the first mug shot on the left, Robert Norton Kennedy from South Carolina just had the quote from Matthew 19:26 (“With God All Things Are Possible”) - he had been arrested for assault and battery. The next time the 51-year old was arrested (for larceny), he had expanded his work of art with musical notes and references to passages from Psalms and Romans:

The next Hall-of-Famer, is 48-year old, David Jonathan Winkelman. His crime was just a misdemeanor of operating a motor vehicle without the owner’s consent. The larger crime was that many years ago, he accepted a challenge from a radio disc jockey who offered listeners a six-figure payout if they tattooed the station’s call letters and logo on their forehead. He now proudly and permanently promotes "93 Rock," the "Quad City Rocker".

Hmmm - I wonder how much Gold 90FM in Singapore would pay me to do the same for them? I'm a huge fan - come on my friends, father and son team, the Richmonds (Gold Breakfast) or Tim or Maggie (Drive Home) - why not make me an offer??

I've got nothing to add to the Alabama man's message to the world below:

Finally - this guy must be a real genius indeed!! Not to mention very cowardly!! 27-year old Jerome Smith was arrested for striking an 8-month pregnant woman in the head with a gun. He'll get everything he deserves - final proof that criminality and idiocy to in fact go hand in hand...

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