* Conspiracy goes 'All The Way to the Top'
BREAKING NEWS: On 8th August, 2010, a secret cache of previously unpublished photographs were found at Singapore's Changi Airport in an unmarked briefcase. To date, no person or persons have come forward to claim ownership of what appears to be damning evidence of a conspiracy that goes all 'the way to the top'.
For the first time, I am making these images available to the public.
When ten bloggers travelled to Hong Kong and had the absolute 'time of their lives' (all thanks to OMY and the Hong Kong Tourism Board), four of the team were offered the chance of a lifetime when we were asked to pariticipate in the International Media Bathtub Race as a part of the fun-filled and action-packed Dragon Boat Carnival.
As has been reported by more than one blogger on this very website, it is no secret that around the halfway mark of this now world-famous event, one of the OMY teams (featuring myself, 2010 Singapore WTH Blog Award Winner, Aussie Pete and 2010 Singapore Modelling Blog Award Winner, Ang Geck Geck) completely stole the limelight by capsizing their bathtub in Hong Kong's Victoria Harbour (the 'Fragrant Harbour').
What has not yet been brought to light are the actual circumstances surrounding this capsize. Many accusations have been made along with certain assertions of this event perhaps being staged, or that we tipped the tub over intentionally -let me state for the record that not only are these accusations untrue and completely unfounded, it is now my belief that such commentary has been published with the complete intention of diverting the truth and covering-up the real story behind the event - for the first time, the 'Big Splash' conspiracy is about to be uncovered... let me say, friends, that this goes all the way to the top, and for fear of repurcussions, I will not be mentioning any co-conspirators by name while further investigations continue - JFK's 'magic bullet' has nothing on this!!
CONSPIRACY - EVIDENCE EXHIBIT 1.01 - THE DIVERSION
As has previously been published, accusations of 'delusions of grandeur' from myself, Aussie Pete. As thousands of fans lined the riverfront to cheer on our bathtub team, I could not help but be taken aback by the number of youngsters screaming my name and holding signs with my picture. This was a clear attempt (which worked) to divert my attention away from other now quite obvious techniques employed to ensure that Geck Geck and I could not only win the race, but would most likely fall out of our bathtub and into the harbour. Accompanied by enhanced and even doctored images, statements have been made that the screaming fans were actually there for U-KISS and the 'Dream team'.
I hereby submit into evidence, Exhibit 1.01 - the original photograph of the diversion.
The following image shows one of the fans on the day and was previously published on this website and Facebook. Let me just call the 'suspect' in this part of the cover-up, "MR J".
Here is the almost same image as discovered in the secret cache - before alteration... notice the difference?
CONPIRACY - EVIDENCE EXHIBITS 1.02 and 1.03 - THE FAULTY EQUIPMENT
Due to the diversion, the clear sabotage that is evident in the following photographs went unnoticed by both myself and my fellow bathub blogger... a clear hole in my oar, thereby rendering it useless in the efforts to disperse water and move our bathtub forward.
I hereby submit into evidence, Exhibits 1.02 and 1.03 - photographs of the faulty equipment.
CONPIRACY - EVIDENCE EXHIBITS 1.04 and 1.05 - CO-CONSPIRATORS
Let's just call the (previously unpublished) following people in these photographs, "THE D TEAM" and "MR A". Upon the capsizing of the bathtub, photographers all along the waterfront were 'picture happy' as they took part in the humour associated with the moment. How the high level people involved in the cover up managed to 'photoshop' absolutely everybody's images, I will never know, but the following images show the real story...
The photographs as published online:
The photographs found in the secret cache - notice the 'extra bodies' in the water? In one, two people clearly assisting the tub on it's lateral movement into an overturned position... in the second, one unidentified man in the water clearly revelling in the fun of it all:
CONPIRACY - EVIDENCE EXHIBIT 1.06 - MORE SABOTAGED EQUIPMENT?
I hereby resubmit Exhibit 1.05 as Exhibit 1.06 - notice also, the extra weights attached to the underbelly of one side of the bathtub? These items seem to resemble the 2010 blog award trophies. It is important to note at this juncture, that only a handful of people are in possession of these items - ten to be exact... if I take myself and Geck Geck out of the equation, that leaves just eight people having access to these 'weights' - this means that (at least) three of our fellow bloggers were in on this overall conspiracy (3/8):
Another blogger, let's call her "Ms E" filmed what was depicted as 'clear footage' of the actual capsize as it happend in real-time. "Ms E" briefly showed us this footage on her video camera shortly after the race. The comment she made at the time, was that she 'knew' we were going to flip over, so she zoomed into our 'Big Splash'. Suspecting at the time, that something was awry, I requested a copy of this video on a number of occassions. At first, "Ms E" used the excuse that she needed to 'edit' it - what for, I still do not know. Then the following day, she suggested that her computer or the video or something 'crashed' so she still could not provide a copy. On the airflight home, I provided "Ms E" with a memory card to download the raw footage to share with me - this time I was told that it was too inconvenient to perform this task on the plane. I have on numerous occassions asked "Ms E" for a copy, but to date it has not been forthcoming - I suspect that the original footage is now long gone :(
The night before the 'big race', one very senior member of the touring party invited me out with two other people in his gang. They suggested that we should go and savour some of the local HK food as a 'light supper'. Let me state clearly here, that this was actually wonderful - the local roadside food was sensational - crab roe balls, prawn balls and fish balls on a stick... very nice, but very filling and more than just a 'light' snack. The gang (let's call them "MR A", "MRS R" and "THE CAMERAMAN") then took me into one of the many late-night restaurants for dessert!! I was actually dubious at the time as to why they were trying to fill me up with so much wonderful food after an already enormous dinner - in hindsight and after suggestion of the same, I now understand that it was a clear ploy to increase my weight to further destabilise the bathtub on the following day.
I should have realized this the next morning, when the same gang (including one more member, otherwise known as "MS SK") invited me for a 9:00am 'heavy' breakfast... no sooner had my stomach been once again filled to capacity, I returned to the hotel to change for the race and was then accompanied by the entire remainder of the touring party for a 'late breakfast' at 11:00am... wait a minute - I usually eat three meals a day... in the hours leading up to the bathtub race, I was pretty much tricked into eating two dinners with dessert and two full breakfasts. I must've weighed at least 5kg heavier than my normal (already overweight) body mass. Clear intention by the conspirators to ensure that it would be difficult to keep the bathtub upright - further evidenced by the aforementioned "MR J" who practically forced an extra fried egg and sandwich down my throat at the 11:00am (second) breakfast.
CONPIRACY - EVIDENCE EXHIBIT 1.07 - SOME CO-CONSPIRATORS SPYING ON THE AMOUNT OF FOOD CONSUMED
Further evidence is still being collected, but the above 'truths unveiled' are already enough to warrant a full and detailed investigation into the 'BIG SPLASH' Conspiracy!!